You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
