It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
