I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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