I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
