The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
