yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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