I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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