So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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