she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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