This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is the high leading the old right now
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
