You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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