We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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