Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize