Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
