I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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