shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
