She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
