I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
