ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we made out on top of his cat.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
