We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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