Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
