TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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