I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
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we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
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The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.