I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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