Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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