Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
