Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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