I'm jealous of your bromance
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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