16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
