it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I came so hard my ears popped.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize