2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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