I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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