two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
