i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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