it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
