If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
