i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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