He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
