3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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