I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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