RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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