Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
