Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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