worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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