he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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