how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she peed on how many people?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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