I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
