My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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