You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
