I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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