Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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