Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
organizing the empties. That sober.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
