we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
