I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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