New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize