we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Come on in and take your pants off
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