whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
