It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
