we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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